Lost Confidence (and Later Found)

lost confidence:

November 15th, 2016,

A date to make me look at everything differently.

A date which made me lose confidence instantly.


An accident off the road of Wood Street.

A street which I was driving on for the first time,

A street poorly constructed with no lane merging sign,

A street which may have been less dangerous had it not been at night.


I’d never shook physically out of fear.

After my headlights shone and I saw the ditch,

I tried to change lanes, I tried to switch.


My wheel was stuck where the right lane ended.

I pushed on the accelerator hard and turned my wheel,

I was thrown on the opposite side of the road and not knowing how to deal,

I turned my wheel right and landed in the ditch, not knowing how to feel.


When I had been on the opposite side of the road, if there had been any oncoming cars, I wouldn’t be here.

There hadn’t been and for that I was blessed,

But as I was in the ditch, I did not know what to do next.

I was shaking, crying, I was perplexed.


I called my grandpa.

He asked if I would be able to drive home,

He asked what was the road,

Two questions whose answers at the time I did not know.


I inspected my tires after thinking one had blown out.

All my tires were fine,

I told my grandpa I could drive home, or try.


I cried the whole way home.

My car roared with every touch to the gas,

I made it home after 18 minutes had passed.

My confidence for driving however, did not last.


lost confidence later found:

On November 27th, 2016,

I got behind the wheel for the first time since the 15th and sat in my mother’s car,

A car whose similarities to mine were very far.


It felt different to be driving, but not so much from fear.

I was familiar to the task I had learned from all the driving hours and practice.

The only difference was that the car was not mine, and not one with which I had truly practiced.


I had drove it once before but never alone.

When I drove it alone today, I truly missed my car, Bernie.

With my car, the feel was familiar and every drive was a journey.

Missing the car that I had recently hurt however, did not bring me worry.


Rather it brought me happiness knowing I was over my fear.

I was not afraid to drive and the fear was diminishing to a small concern.

The only thought it my mind was when Bernie would return.

my car returned in perfect condition on: December 29th, 2016


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